Say what you like about the British – and it would be reasonable to do so – there’s one thing we are good at, and that’s making anyone who visits our home a nice cup of tea. Over on the AskUK subreddit, user pgh9fan asked the following question:

‘Yank here. I watch a lot of British telly and every time someone knocks on the door and comes in, the person who lives there says they’ll put the kettle on. Is that what it’s like in real life? DCI Barnaby will go to someone’s house to question them and they’ll make everyone tea. People here would never do that here for the police.’

And British people had plenty to say on the etiquette of offering your visitors a hot beverage, and who deserves to get one.

1.

‘It’s automatic for me. If someone is coming in I can’t help but say ‘Want a cuppa?’ as they cross the threshold, doesn’t matter if it’s someone reading the meters or a friend.’
–SmartHomeDaftOwner

2.

‘There’s a rather wonderful page towards the end of the book ‘Mog the Forgetful Cat’ where the family are stood around, the local copper is there singing the praises of Mog, and the burglar – looking thoroughly chagrined at being rumbled by an unintelligent moggie – is also still present. And all of them, burglar included, have cups of tea to wash down the idyllic harmless 70s children’s humour.

It wasn’t until my wife pointed it out to me that it registered that someone – Mrs Thomas most likely given the era – has just made the guy actively stealing the silverware a cuppa. Truly the most British thing ever.’
–Buddy-Matt

3.

‘Hate it though when workmen say yes to wanting a brew and say they’d like coffee with milk… I don’t drink coffee so have no idea what it’s supposed to look like.’

4.

‘When my mum passed away I offered tea to the police and paramedics as they came into the house. I realise now that must have been a bit odd for them.’
–unhappy_babbling

5.

‘Sorry. Even when the police turned up once to arrest my son from his bed (which he entirely deserved), I made them a brew. You just do. It would be so rude not to offer. You’d have to actually be burgling my house or something for me not to put the kettle on.’
–pikantnasuka

6.

‘I had paramedics in the middle of the night, I was dressed in whatever I could grab, boyfriend gaining consciousness, medical litter all over the floor and the cat was meowing from the locked bathroom. ‘Can I get either of you a cup of tea or coffee?’.’
–olivinebean

7.

‘I went into labour with our second baby and we had to wait an hour until my in-laws arrived to babysit our eldest. By the time they arrived I was about 30 mins away from having to give birth in the kitchen floor. And what does my husband do when his parents arrive? Offers to make them tea!! I very forcefully snarled at it him that they could make their own f*****g tea!’
–Yikes44

8.

‘Only exception being the people wanting to talk about your lack of TV licence. No kettle be boiled for them buggers.’
–nosajn`

9.

‘It’s just polite. A modern tradition of bread and salt if you like. There is a line however. Workmen, cleaners, professional visitors (like medical people on home visits), police – all fine to offer a cuppa.

Door to door salespeople, religious door knockers, chuggers etc – no, they are not welcome. No cuppa for them.’
–RegX81

10.

‘Our police don’t shoot us as much.’
–quellflynn

11.

‘I remember once a guy made a cup of tea just for himself while I was visiting him. I have never spoken to him or seen him since. There are some things you just don’t do.’
–Stuffedwithdates

12.

‘It’s definitely the case in real life. Both the following are reported to be true from interviews in national newspapers:

In 1982, a burglar (a painter and decorator by trade), Michael Fagan broke into Buckingham Palace (?????!!!!!) and managed to disturb the Queen in her bedroom, from her sleep. Legend is that she then said to him: Would you like a cup of tea? However, according to him, she then ran out of the bedroom in her Liberty print nightdress and bare feet and eventually a footman came in ….and offered him a drink.

On a different occasion, a workman, Kevin Andrews, was legit doing a job in Buckingham Palace and a woman asked if he wanted some tea. He replied: ‘Yeah. In a mug. Two sugars. Builder’s tea. I don’t want any of that nonsense I had the last time I was here, all that fine china and all that saucer stuff’. A little later, the woman returned with the tea, and he looked up to find it was the Queen.’
–tmstms

13.

‘This is the british way. Unless it’s beer o’clock.’
–Figgzyvan

14.

‘I don’t drink tea myself, and I live on my own. But I have two large boxes of teabags (so they can choose their preference), and always have hot water and milk available, as well as sugar most of the time. Just in case you have a visitor. Yes, this happens. My parents will literally finish a cup of tea and a few minutes later say they’re ‘gasping’ for another.’
–ledow

15.

‘Yes. I forgot to offer my friend one once, and he looked at me like I’d forgotten to put on pants that morning, before asking if I was going to offer him a cuppa or not. I’m still embarrassed thinking about it, and it was so long ago he’s now dead.’
–lavenderacid

16.

‘Yeah. If you pop round to see a mate and they don’t offer to put the kettle on, you’ll start to question if they’re really a mate at all. Also, stopping offering tea during the visit is basically how we ask people to leave.’
–SHN378

17.

‘100%. I had an Openreach man come round the other day and although I knew it was a 2min job and most of it at the outside box over the road, I offered a cup off tea. Most people say no, but he did and we had a good 10 min chat about kitchens. It was really nice. Just seems like good manners.’
–Cheap_Interview_3795

18.

‘Someone knocks on front my door, I’m not answering it. Probably the TV licence inspector. Anyone who I want to visit comes in the back, as is the British way.’
–rainbowroobear

19.

‘Yep. It’s a sly way of letting people know how much time you are willing to dedicate to them. No offer of tea basically means ‘I’m hoping this visit is over in under 10 minutes’.’
–kat_d9152

20.

‘I used to be a community Midwife and I’ve honestly never, ever in my life drunk so much tea as I did when I was on shift and visiting people at home. Perk of the job.’
–stinglikeameg

21.

‘Yes, if someone visits you put the kettle on to make tea or coffee. If you don’t it’s basically the same as punching them full in the face.’
–markhewitt1978

22.

‘Thank you for noticing that they ‘put the kettle on’ and not saying ‘give me a sec while I fire up the microwave’.’
–-Whitelines-

Plenty of achingly British opinions there, but this one said it best…

‘Yes. But: if you hate someone or for some reason the person is very much unwelcome you can bestow the grievous insult of opening the door and saying grimly ‘You’ll have had your tea’.

On the face of it that means ‘Oh, you don’t need tea as you’ve just had some’. In reality it means ‘You are so unwelcome I will not even offer you a cup of tea, you despicable low-life’.

I have been waiting all my life for the opportunity to say this.’
–EldritchCleavage